It’s been tough..

I know I haven’t posted here in a while.. but I got extremely distracted by writing my own fanficion.

I allowed myself to become completely obsessive for a while. I was so wrapped up in it I hardly thought about anything else.

A few other things have happened. I planned on going to several get-togethers in Phoenix for people who are doing NaNo, to meet other writers and maybe meet some new people. But of course.. after driving two hours to get there..(because of horrible traffic)…no one was there.

It was just another instance where I make an effort and I get nothing in return. But that is something that is going to have to wait to be written about because right now I am too sensitive about the subject and don’t feel I could handle getting worked up tonight.

Something else that is happening is that I agreed to try something called Alpha-Stim. It is supposed to be really good for depression and anxiety. My Mom has been doing research into it and it looks like something I should try.
My Mom is convinced that this is the thing that will help me. This is the thing that will change everything for me. It will give me my life back.

I refuse to get my hopes up. I have done that too many times before and I can’t go through the disappointment again once it doesn’t work.

Of course I will be happy if it does. That would be wonderful.. I just can not get my hopes up. I will try it.. I will do whatever I am supposed to do to make it work. But if I am not expecting anything.. I can’t be let down.

I should be able to start using it next week.