An update!

Where do I even begin?

-First.. my car broke down. I had to have it towed to the Chevy dealership which was closed for the weekend.

-I talked to Andrew. (I think I mentioned that) I told him that I couldn’t be his girlfriend…that I wasn’t ready.. that I couldn’t be what he wanted me to be…and that I just basically couldn’t do this. He seemed understanding.. until he started talking about how much he loved me and freaked me the fuck out.. cause.. hello! I still barely know him!
I definitely got the impression that night that he just wasn’t getting what I was saying..well.. I was definitely right.

He called the next night and left a message on my voice mail that he wanted to come over and see me the next day. Well.. I didn’t call him back because I had already had an upsetting night.. for reasons I won’t bother to get into know. That is a whole other story.. So I didn’t want to see him. I was suprised he was even calling.. I was dealing with too much and didn’t want to have to deal with his refusing to listen as well.

Well.. the next day.. I was getting ready to go to the store with my Mom and I found out that Andrew was here. HE CAME ANYWAYS!! Even though he hadn’t even spoken to me about it! And without even talking to me about it.. he made plans to spend the night at our friend’s apartment. (They live in the same building as me) So not only was he going to be there all freaking evening.. but he would be there in the morning too! And he intended on spending all that time with me. And this was AFTER I told him that I couldn’t do this anymore!
But he’s going around acting like nothing has changed.. that conversation never happened and I am just as nuts about him as he is about me…and I would be overjoyed to find out he was there (and wasn’t leaving anytime soon)!

Then…

- My Dad said that I would have to pay to get my car fixed.. which goes against the promise he made me back when HE INSISTED that I needed a car. He knew I couldn’t afford it.. and was perfectly willing to live in Phoenix or Chandler because they have public transportation. But NO.. he wanted me to live here.. where there is no public transportation. So he said if I would live here.. he would buy me the car and take care of the maintainence. That is the ONLY reason I have this car. Because HE INSISTED.

So I was pretty freaking pissed when he was suddenly saying I would have to pay for it myself.. which he knows means that it will not get fixed at all. Because I barely have enough money for food.. let alone an extra $800 on the side. So that means I would be stuck with no car.. and no way to get anywhere. You can’t even walk in this town because everything is so freaking far apart.

So I was mad and freaking out.. had a massive panic attack in the parking lot of the grocery store (which is where we were when my Mom told me) and then I had to go home to Andrew being there!

I said.. FUCK THIS! I am in no mood for this. I refused to see him. I was still crying and talking to our friend Jennifer, who’s apartment he was going to stay at, and told her exactly how I felt about his just showing up.. and how I told him before that I couldn’t do this.. so why would he just show up like that? And I also told her how much he freaked me out with the whole ‘I love you’ crap. I told her I couldn’t see him and she could tell him all of that when he asked. That she didn’t have to lie.

So that’s what she did. I only saw him for a few minutes later that night and he did apologize for just showing up like that. But we really didn’t have time to say much more than that because of the other drama that was happening then. Yes! More drama!

But that is going to have to wait.. cause it’s also kind of a long story and I have been babbling long enough.

I did find out though that my Dad decided that he was going to pay for my car. Cause not only was he going back on his promise.. but my not having a car means that they would have to drive me everywhere! And he did not like that! LOL