*yawns*

I have been feeling really weird the past couple of days.. I feel very scatter brained..like I can’t focus on anything for very long.

Nothing seems to satisfy me. I keep jumping from one thing to another. Can’t even focus long enough to really get into and enjoy a fanfic.

It’s really frustrating so all I want to do is sleep so I don’t have to deal with it.

The other night.. even though I had slept almost the whole night..after sleeping most of the day before…I just couldn’t handle the thought of a whole day ahead of me feeling this way so I took a couple sleeping pills to knock myself out again.

I slept so hard and had some really wicked dreams… but when I woke up I felt like absolute shit.

I could barely move. I felt like I was still drugged…my arms and legs felt really heavy and it was absolutely exhausting just walking from the bedroom to the livingroom. My head felt like it weighed a 100 pounds. And I had a killer headache. And I was still so tired that I could barely keep my eyes open and concentrate on anything. I ended up going back to bed for a while longer even though I didn’t really sleep. But I woke up feeling a little better. The headache is finally gone and I feel a little more awake.. but I still feel really weird.

I suddenly have this urge to go for a walk. Get out of my apartment. It’s funny, sometimes I have to remind myself that there is a world outside my apartment. It’s actually shocking to look outside my window and see all that space..

Moody me…

Even after all these years I am still amazed at how fast my mood can change. I know I was diganosed as a Rapid Cycler.. but damn..one minute I am anxious and depressed..not wanting to leave the apartment. Then the next minute I am out the door and talking a mile a minute and can’t stop smiling.
I was practically giddy. I kept getting these waves of excitement that kept flowing through my body..making me feel like I had something to look forward to. Like I had something really great waiting for me at home. Which of course, I didn’t. Nothing had changed.
I got home and remained perky for about 10-15 minutes.. and then I was back to normal. Or what is considered normal for me.

Now I just feel calm. I feel ok. I am going to read some fanfiction and then go to bed. No big deal. No great excitement here. It’s just same old..same old.